|So awkward I had to make my own e-card up!|
Telephone phobia .
I swear it's a thing.
Because I'm positive I have it. I can say "yes" to a lot of these questions.
Rational? Not at all.
I used to be on the phone all the time. In middle school, I would spend all afternoon and weekends on the phone with one of my girlfriends. Literally. all. day. We would hang up when we had to pee (probably would have stayed on even then but I didn't have a cordless). We'd watch t.v. "together". I think a mixture of growing apart from people and the invention of texting and rise of emails and social media as made it much harder to communicate with our real voice. Don't even get me started on Skype and Face time (the thought of them being able to see my awkwardness while on the phone?!). Sure, it's great for those separated by distance and grandparents wanting to see their grand-babies but for something like an interview? I'd die!
You'd probably laugh if I told you that the job I'm trying to get requires talking on the phone about 99% of the time. It's different though. (See, I sound crazy!) There is a difference when it's your JOB. And, this company is awesome and has this crazy system/program that makes it way less intimidating. And what better way to face your fear than to face it head on? The fear and anxiety comes when I'm put in a vulnerable position - when I need something, am asking for something, when the other person has some "power" over me (for real, or just in my head) that all these symptoms come to fruition.
Mix that with the hard core jitters and nervousness that comes with looking for a job and you get my awkward voicemail today. Ugh. It was totally acceptable for me to call and get an update regarding the job. Enough time had past where I wouldn't be a stalker and she would still remember me. So I write down what I want to say - and seeing as I've always got a quick answer from her - don't worry about a quaint voicemail option. So it rings, and rings, and rings, and then voicemail. I get through my "It's me-this-is-why-I'm-calling-here's-my-number speil and instead of hanging up like a normal person I kept talking. I don't even know what about. I know I said something about how much I appreciated her and how she's been helping me but even as I type this I don't know how to convey how much more awkward it was coming from my lips. Mine you this is the company voicemail not even her personal one. Are you cringing like I am while typing this?
I just hope she finds it endearing. And not crazy.
Today definitely didn't help with the fear of calling someone.
Are you afraid of the phone or some other irrational things? I would love to hear I'm not alone. Or that you are just as awkward as I am. Or that I didn't just ruin all this work of getting this job. BLERG!*
On an happier note, (kind of) happy Pi Day! It's only kind of happy because I have yet to eat any pie...
(* A special thanks to someecards & Tina Fey for words and thoughts I love but are not my own.)